It's okay to be bothered! Everyone has negative thoughts and worries and sometimes they get stuck for a bit. Keep practicing turning yourself around to look at other things and the worrisome things won't have time to be worrisome. What you focus on is what you "see" so whenever you are thinking thoughts you don't like (they're just thoughts!) think of something else, concentrate on where you're going and you'll be fine.

Even if you have BPD, so what? Most of how we are in life is learned, we're taught certain things when we're younger and it sticks because we have no experience to know better. Now that you're older use your wishes and experience to check out what you think and feel and teach yourself new things about yourself and situation that you feel better about.