Jexa,

Don't feel so bad about yourself. None of us are perfect. We're all damaged in some way. All of us have problems, and those problems can have effects on our relationships. But I've always believed that if you really love someone, you can see past their flaws, or the problems they might have. You can love them despite their mistakes, and what they might have done in the past. Someone who really loves you isn't going to think badly of you because of SI. They'll recognize that you, just like everyone else, have struggled. And who knows, maybe eventually you'll even be able to find someone who can relate to what you went or are going through. Believe it or not, there are people who understand.