i dont know why but no matter how bad it gets i cant ask for help. i think i have hit a real low.i have always thought of myself as a strong person, but at what point is it more pride than anything else? i dont feel happy anymore, i dont feel anymore, i consume my day with guilt,panic and fear. i know this isnt right or normal but i cant bring myself to ask for help. i have gotten to a point were i have to do something to fix it yet here i sit hiding.i dont know if this the right thing to do . but it seems like a small victory for me just to do this. i think i posted this becouse i need to talk, to someone and the less real that person is to me (i.e. never meet them in person) i can have some bit of security. i think there are people who have feelt the same way and might have clues/helpful words to this. other than that i really dont know what will come of it. i guess i am of the mind that "it cant hurt to try". so i guess i will leave it at that