I often feel guilty about what I have shown my kids (21 and 22). But you know what? When I talk with them now, I see that the bottom line is that they are loving and kind and generous people. I have always waited for the time when they will confront me with how I have messed up their lives, and how awful it was growing up with a mom who was sad so often and children of a very imperfect marriage. But I know they felt and continue to know how very much I love them.

I think that a lot of what we think is based on things we experienced as children ourselves, and I also think it can be easy to think the worse. In reality, I don't think our children perceive things the same way we do. And they are more resilient than we sometimes give them credit for. The fact that your thinking and worrying about this means that you are already many steps ahead of people who don't even consider the impact of things on their children's lives.

Children and people in general go through different stages at different ages and times in their lives, so try not to worry and personalize it all. You are doing the best that you can, and it sounds like that is a lot. One of the best things we can do for our children is to learn how to take care of ourselves.