Everyone's memory is inconsistent, even hers! And of course you remember more the longer you work at it. I have similar problems and am teaching myself to find the words and thoughts I want before I speak so my husband doesn't get so frustrated.

Some people have an easier time turning the memory pictures into words and other people have more trouble with words (all thought is words, remember; you can't "remember" and express what you remember without words!) and so expressing themselves in a clear manner is harder.

I don't think other people can clearly understand our difficulties but I don't think we should use our difficulties as either crutch or excuse. If you know you sometimes are wrong initially, work on that (not speaking until you are pretty sure you have it all right) or accept it and when you hear another version that sounds better to you, apologize for getting it wrong and move on. My husband is very sensitive to when I'm "picking on him" and will remind me, passionately, "We're on the same side!" Don't let your wife make you feel bad about yourself; you're doing the best you can or are working on your issues, etc. and have nothing to prove or be ashamed of! If you know how she thinks/operates, do your best to state things in ways she will understand (if you want).

I don't know what you all argue about or what is fueling the divorce but sounds like it is a mutual blame thing instead of a trying to understand the other and working on one's own knitting, making sure one says what one means or wants understood by the other, etc. Communication is very important in any relationship, not just marriage but isn't ever going to be automatic and not require work. You can't change how the other person perceives things, only how you do and what you do and how you operate.