Jexa,

I would hold off saying anything until you feel comfortable or until he asks. And tell the truth. I have found that lying or making up stories only leads you to feel worse about yourself. Sure, it is not something that we feel like discussing with all and sundry, but it is still a precious part of you, of your history, whether it be negative or positive.

I have no idea whether this is the right way to do it, even if it seemed instinctive to me, but I started to treat my scars as "battle scars". I am not proud of what I did to my body, but I am not guilty for it either. What I am proud of, is that I made it through, and that is where my battle scars lie. They are a reminder to me, that I SUFFERED and overcame, and suffered and overcame. They remind me that I am human and flawed and have feelings even if I don't understand them. But flaws is what makes me, me.

When my fiance first asked me about them (and they are not as obvious now. Probably more superficial than the ones that you describe), I told him the flat out truth, without regret, but with sadness, and that was that. It opened an interesting dialogue. I cannot say it was easy, it never is, but I felt ......a sort of freedom I guess. "I am not ashamed and neither should you be, and if you are, then you are not for me"......that was my attitude. We have been together for 7 years now and engaged for 2.

Take care of your precious, precious self. Despite the Darkness you have encountered, be proud that you survived it and still survive it. You have courage.

Michah