I don't know the source of these thoughts but they clearly are intrusive so perhaps talking about how they make you feel would help. If you want to talk to a therapist that would be great or you can talk to us here at PC. We may not be able to help here or perhaps you will find others with similar experiences or some insight.

What happens with your BF that sets off the screaming and crying? Is there another way you could handle it such as going to a different room and calming down before you and he continue talking?