I don't journal very much. Hard to stay on top of it. Really, it's hard to even tell what's going on with me until I look back at it. Right now I feel very blank when I don't feel horrible. I've actually been doing pretty well for a couple months, but the last month or two I've been slowly sliding downhill again.

The flashback stuff is more episodic I think. I'll go through phases where it's really intrusive and bothersome, then phases where those thoughts don't come out much at all. At the very least it's been going on since about high school though. So ten years maybe? Before that, as a kid, I'd get the same negative feelings and senses of ambiance; but it wasn't so concrete. I started having depression problems to an extreme a few years before the actual images started. Again, I was a pretty down kid though.