>> I am to the point I don't even want to try anymore I am so emotionally worn down. I don't have much of a fight left in me. My mind doesn't want think, my body is tired and just don't know where to turn.

Sometimes just going through the motions is all you can do, and that is good enough. Dealing with one's issues is hard enough. Pressure to get better makes a difficult job impossible. For me, nearly all of that pressure comes from myself. Though now, somehow or other, I've made it okay to just be. I'm not doing anything in particular to help myself, but I find that I'm not doing anything in particular to sabotage myself either. I don't feel like I'm drifting but I'm making it okay to just go through the motions and to not try so hard at resolving my issues and "living life to the fullest". (I hate that cliche!!) Could you be putting pressure on yourself to get better when actually it's making you worse?

PS - Keep in mind that the holiday season is traditionally ridiculously stressful on everyone.

It's okay to just be.