Just a thought for the pile: unconditional love does not mean accepting abuse.
Oh broken, Owwy, phooey, owwy, huh?
My hypothesis is: we can't treat anybody else any differently than we treat ourselves. Until we do "it" with/for ourselves, we don't even really know what "it" is. We're guessing, projecting, making assumptions, wishin' and hopin'.......etc
For instance, until we learn to love ourselves, we don't kow what love is, really. Until we learn to respect ourselves, we don't know what respect is, really. etc etc
It's like moving from intellectual to organic. ie, a kind of integration with ourselves.
Once we learn to give "it" to ourselves, we can give "it" to others in an aware kinda way.
Hitting somebody to see if they love you is kinda counter productive. I read it as forcing them to make a choice between you and them. I feel like it's unfair to ask somebody to love me more than they love themselves. Talk about "conditional", whew. Know what I mean? Love yourself, broken, love youslef, all yourselves. Especially the parts who act out of desperation for love. They need you first.