That's some story. I'm sorry for all the loss and pain that you have had, I would love to say that I understand, but I really don't All I can say is that I sympathize with you. I hope your sister is doing better, it's horrible for someone that young to be so unhappy. I hope that you get better too. You might want to consider going back to a therapist. They can help. Sometimes just talking out your feelings with someone is really what you need most. However, if you aren't ready for therapy, then it won't help you. I know, I went to therapy for a long time and it didn't help. It didn't begin to help until I was good and ready, and really wanting help. But, coming here is a step in that direction. Welcome to the board, people here are very nice and helpful. Hope to see more from you in the future.
~Dreamer~