I am sure our stories are very different however, there is hope.

I was terrified of men for as long as I could remember because of abuse. I tried working on it with a therapist in all sorts of ways with no luck. Then I went off to college. This one male faculty member caught my attention. He was always so kind, polite and respectful. He always seemed to know to give me a bit more space without my ever having said anything. I watched him diligently for months making all sorts of excuses to be in public places I knew he would be in. On one of my stronger days I went to his office. I was shaking so hard I fell down the stairs. I stuck my head in his door and stammered rather quickly "I'm scared of men but want to trust you" then bolted! On my way out of the building I realized there had been no one else besides the two of us in the whole building at the time. I had been a sprinter in high school but I know I broke some speed records as I raced to my dorm! I shook, shivered, paced, threw up, hid under my blankets and jumped through the roof every time the phone rang. I didn't get up the courage to leave my room until well into the next day for fear of running into him. Eventually our paths crossed again as I knew they would. He gave me much more space than before but he caught my attention at every chance to give me a reassuring look. I would slowly work on moving closer as I was able. If I got stuck for a while though he would "set up" some way that we would have to be near eachother... Always in public and always in a place or way that I would not feel trapped. If we ran into eachother with no one else around he would always let me decide how close to him I came. It took a while but we got there. I remember the night that I finally felt safe enough to hug him (I was a known hugger on campus.... at least with women). As soon as we got close I spooked and started to pull away. He let me pull back but not away. He looked at me with tears in his eyes as he said "Omers, you made it. I'm so proud of you" and I collapsed into his arms crying hystarically with about 150 people staring at me! It was a huge turning point and trusting other men started to become easier and easier. within a few months of the hug I was friends with several male faculty on campus. It has been ten years since I graduated from college and I still go back to visit him every chance I can (I live several states away now). He still means the world to me. When I adopted my son I changed my sons middle name (he knew his first and last name but not his middle name) so that I could name him after that faculty member.

It is possible!