Your therapist is right just knowing the memories isnt going to make a difference. the person has to look at their present life and find the trigger in the present that is causing the memory to rerun. Its like the above post and the memory piece called Margo. Just knowing the memory of being abused then practicing my piano lesson right after didn't fix the problem - my punching people. I had to think about what was going on in my present life at the time I punched and that was people walking up to me and grabbing my wrists to get my attention. Then I had to actively work on not being triggered when people touched my wrist first by starting to feel normal things on my wrists. its perfectly normal for people to walk up to someone and take their hand. its not normal for someone to overreact by punching people so that is where my focus had to be not 100% on the memory.

The memory is a done deal there was no going back and changing it and making it not happen. Knowing the memory just helps in understanding where the present behavior comes from thats all. memorys arent this big got to do something about it kind of thing they are just there. Your therapist is trying to keep the focus where it should be on the present behavior. it isn't that therapists don't want to know the memory. its their job to find out what your memories are. thats what cognative therapy which all united states therapists practice is about - taking care of todays problems by understanding where your beliefs and behaviors come from then putting new coping skills in place. It may feel like she is not wanting to know the memories because she has been trained to stear the clients to the present day problems but knowing memories is the therapists job.

Sometimes people can get so into the memory factor that they don't take care of the present. The key is to balance one - the memory - to take care of the other - the present. Once your therapist sees you know how to not get stuck in the past but use it like it should be used as a tool for the present she won't have to stear you away from the memorys so much you will be able to do that yourself.

As for insiders and outsiders. All memory pieces are insiders and outsiders.

Basically insiders are ALL memory pieces because they are memories inside your brain.

Outsiders discribes the acting out of those memory pieces.The memory is not just a memory but the person is acting on it which can be seen by the behavior, posture, expressions.

If you did not act out on the memory piece they would not be considered alternate personalities (alters, fragments, parts, memory pieces). The normal for example a cooking dinner memory that is stored consciously and is not triggered into rerunning is not an alter. Outsiders are not just the bad ones and insiders the good ones. They ALL have good and bad elements to them.

My 25 memory pieces are both insiders and outsiders. they are parts of memories stored in my brain (insiders) but ALL have been triggered in order to act out by drawing cleaning punching, whatever the memory content is (outsiders),

Talk with your therapist. She can help you if you really are ready to find your memories and triggers and actively use new coping tools so that your present life can be better, thats her job. Thats what therapy is.