I have lived in a different world for the past year. Life was going well. I formed a relationship with a woman and fell in love. Was engaged to be married, and I was happy. I stood by this woman through some very tough things. She is epileptic and was so bad off that she needed to have half of her right temporal lobe removed. She also had a brief stay in the psych ward after a post siezure episode. I was there for her at every step. I put my heart and soul on the line, and gave her everything I had. I supported her financialy through the the lost work.

A little back story on this girl, she claims that she lost her virginity to bieng raped, and was raped twice in 6 hours by two different men. I felt for her.. she claimed that she was raped just prior to meeting her. The story was that she went to a guy friends house, and went to the bedroom, but was ignored when she said no... this coincided with her last breakup. I never questioned her story, but was concerned that she never filed a police report.

Last week she decided to go hang out with a friend after work, I was not comfortable with the guy she was going to hang out with (he had tried to kiss her the last time they hung out). Although I was not comfortable and expressed my concern she said that he is just a good friend. I trusted her...

She was supposed to be home at 6:30 pm, but did not come home or call. She did not answere her phone or return texts (she is attached to her phone, and it never leaves her side with the execption of when we would have relations). 8:00 pm comes around and she finaly answeres the phone. She sounded in a good mood and was concerned that I was mad at her. She said that she was serving soup to the homeless and would have Zeb drop her off in a few, the reason she did not answere her phone was that it was in another room.

She came home that night, everyone in the house commented that she seemed to be in a better mood than she has in a while... she was also affectionte with me which was different from the way she had been acting. We had an active sex life, up untill she had her surgery. She had decided that she wanted to become worthy of getting married and sealed in the Temple (mormon) So we no longer could have sex.

The next day she is riding with my brother to a doctor appointment where she tells my brother how the guy made sexual advanced, but she turned him down and reminded him that she was engaged.

She said nothing to me about the advances, and did not know about them untill Saturday. She was acting strange, and she comes to me saying she called a cab and is going to a friends house. I asked her what was going on, and she did not want to tell me. I finally get her to tell me what is going on, and she claims that she was raped by this guy on tuesday. She was going to a friend who was going to take her to the hospital to have a rape kit done.

I feel bad because I think she is lying to me, her mom thinks that she is lying to me, and a person she has been confiding in says that she thinks she is lying. She has given everyone a different story, and she is not filing a police report.

I feel horrible becasue I have doubt about what she is saying, but she has given me that doubt by actions.. two months ago she went out with her ex and kissed him. on thanks giving she changed her plans last second and went out with her ex instead of meeting one of my oldest friends.

Her mom appologized to me, and told me that I was the best thing that ever happened to her daughter, and that I deserved better. She was broken up becasue I was no longer going to be around and wanted to make sure that I was ok after this.

My gut tells me that this event is part of a pattern of behaviour. I do belive that she believes that she was raped. My sister in-law who is a psyc clinician brought out the psyc bible and believes that she suffers from hystronic personality disorder... which after reading the criteria it was freaky accurate.

I feel guilty for ending the relationship, but I have had nothing but support from everyone saying I made the right choice... her mother is even supporting me.

I am broken, crying all the time, and scared. I was alone for years and I finnaly had something that seemed to be good. I either was cheated on, or I am being a horrible person by not bieng there to support the person that I still love...

With all this I am starting to cycle again and do not know what to do. I have had suicidal thoughts... but I have also made my support group aware of this I am being kept safe, and do not want to act on the thoughts.