Firstly, Polyanomous, you didn't do anything to "deserve" this. And please DO post to help get it off your chest. This is a place to do that and better yet, with these lovely understanding people. So remember, you do have support here, which is invaluable when we are feeling we have none IRL. I hope that the new AD Rx works for you, and that you are able to get in soon with a T. On the other, that is hard (also).

The other posters have good thoughts about that. Personal experience, if you care to know...The ex said one time that he would need to learn more. Then never bothered. He was also perfectly content to just ignore me holed up in my room, being sloth-like in movement, staring and barely talking at all in the major depressive phases, some of which went on for very long times. Ignore it and it doesn't exist. Between that (and other related factors, like, about new meds... asked him to please watch for problematic things and being ignored... up to and including, "It is possible for this one to precipitate a seizure. Not likely, but please help me if it does". No response.) That and "jokes" in really poor taste... these were just the last straws for me and I decided to leave. (There were other substantial issues, but those were the ones that really clinched it.) To his credit, he did put up with a helluva lot over many years. (I didn't pursue the counselling route only because the major issue would not have been fixable by it and to me, it wasn't worth saving.)

Currently BF is accepting of it, which is good, but he didn't even recognize major readily observable signs of substantial depression, It came up through his mentioning, rather exasperatedly, about the manifestions. When I told him, he offered to help more (and did) and also said when that happens, I should talk about it. It was hard to explain that after soooo many years of not being able to (lack of venue and hard-wired personal reservations), that it was hard to switch gears and talk.

Sorry to go on and on about it, but if any sounds familiar to you, they might be useful factors to consider in this time. Only you can truly decide how each factor in your personal situation weighs out for you. Big thing is, if you love him and want to try to work it out, the counselling thing is a very good idea and you should give it a go.

It really is hard for them, especially guys (not to generalize, but...) who are frustrated by not being able "fix" it. Major kudos to those who do/can.

Please keep us posted through this rough time, ok?