my p-doc told me i think it's so interseting how everyone family dynamice are so different. than i told her the other day i can't stand how all of my siblings can remember one memory and we all have a different story of how we remember it. and i mean its totally polar opposite. I said i have nothing in common with my siblings and she said yes you do...your blood....i pondered yes that is true they will always defend me even if they don't like me or vice versa, at least we have that. i couldn't stand my mom she was never thee she let horrible things ahppen to me as a kid and let it continue into being an adult, i had to take care of her, and i couldn't trust her at all. but she was my mom she did put a roof over my head, she did keep me fed when she went without, and i have a feeling if she would have been strong enough and had the willpower my childhood (or lack there of) would have been diffeent. she kept me alive (even though a lot of times i didn't want to be)

i guess what i'm trying to get across is that it's ok not to have close contact with your parents it's ok not too be head over heals in love with them and it's ok if you don't like them all that much. you didn't choose them as friends or to be in your life. they are your blood and being a mom myself i would die for my child anyday of the week he could despise and hate me all he wants but i still would go to the beyond for him! and i think deep down inside most parents are that way, alot of times they don't show it. you do what you can to keep your sanity, i told my family i can not do gatherings becasue its too hard for me i don't expect you to understand but i just can't get along with everyones personality.