Years ago I used to be in a similar position to you... my (abusive) parents would ask me to go places or do stuff with them and I was unable to say no, no matter how much I didn't want to do it. My T used to get frustrated with me, too. For her 'no' seemed so easy, but for me it was seeming impossibility. Saying no to my parents wasn't even an option, and my inability to say no extended to everyone who requested something of me.

I don't know what it was like for you, but growing up with abusive parents taught me that going against their wishes in any way at all brought more abuse. The fear in me was so strong, and I did everything I could to not inspire their anger, even well into adulthood.

Over time my T helped me practice saying no in all sorts of little situations. It was definitely a baby steps kind of thing. She helped me learn that *most* people respect 'no', and it is possible to stick up for what one wants or needs without getting abused in return. Eventually I learned to say no to my parents as well, and 10 years later I am totally confident in sticking up for myself in relation to them. Up until 10 years ago I went on several trips with my parents (as an adult) that I absolutely did not want to go on, which turned out to be as unpleasant as I knew they would be, and my T had tried in vain to get me to bow out of. My fear of saying no was too consuming. But now... if my parents asked me (but they've actually given up now, because they know I won't) I would be able to say "No thanks" without blinking an eye lid.

So I guess I just want to say... if you are not yet at a place where you are able to say no, then so be it. But you are thinking about it, you are learrning different things (both here and at T) and all of that is helping you move towards being able to say no in the future. All of *this* is an important part of gathering new information, new ideas and perspectives, and moving towards the eventual goal of taking different action.