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Dec 21, 2010, 04:51 PM
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Member Since: Feb 2009
Posts: 10,045
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This is difficult. I’m cursed (blessed?) with absentmindedness and frequently unfocused thoughts. This makes it difficult for me to ruminate darkly on negative things. Yet, they’re there. They’re deep. They erratically emerge in brief explosions of intense, paralyzing emotion.
Here, vaguely discerned, are a few of those warped things:
- I exist, therefore I am guilty.
- All failure and annoyance anywhere near me is my fault and responsibility.
- I have failed, therefore I must be destroyed.
- My poor excuse for a life is an affront to the Fallen.
These irrationalities have a life of their own. They (so far) will not respond to logic. Oh, they remain silent for the most part, but they’re always ready to ambush me, readily triggered by even minor stressors.
Nevertheless, I am determined not to surrender to despair. May I at least not fail in that.
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My dog  mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.
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