now that you said that, i totally have the song stuck in my head! Now i need to go listen to it Saw Jeff Tweedy at the end of the summer! Awesome!!

ok, i see two things going on here. 1-why do you think he says that you would never like yourself to leave him?
1a: did you go into therapy with the intention of getting a divorce, or on the precipice of one?
1b: and if so, could you see that maybe what your T sees is a hurt person who is afraid to own themselfes, believe in themselfs 100%. If you were self-confident, and you went into this therapy with maybe the intention of getting a divorce, you would NEED that confidence to get through it all.
1c: Or you guys went in just to sort out some issues...did more stuff come up through that?
We just went in to deal with stuff. Maybe he said it just to be devil's advocate, I don't know. He once asked my husband how he would feel if I left him (and my husband replied, embarassed...hmmm) T also once said that I should have married a nurturer, like myself, instead of an intellectual. Too bad, he said.
He has this thing about compatibility, I gradually learned (because he started a dating service and marketed it as finding someone who shares your "true personal world view") I kinda feel like he had this rigid way of looking at us and if he thought we were incompatible from the get go, what was he trying (or lack thereof) to do for us?
I guess I didn't go in to find out how horrible things were. But maybe they were that horrible. Don't know. Another discussion.

and 2: You said you sacrifice yourself too much...but in the big picture it akes you the happeist. What I worry about is what you are actually sacfricing for the "greater good." Are you sacrificing some parts of being you in order to make the happy family? Because I generally think it doesn't work out that way. The way children are happy is because their parents are happy people in and of themselves.
You are right about that last statement. But I don't think leaving my marriage would make me happier. And can't I achieve both? Self and relationship improvement. I don't know if I've been sacrificing actual parts of myself. Just sacrificing time and energy.

Now I know that I went off on a presumptious tangent, but I was trying to understand what happened here, because it seems to be an entire split between what the T said and what you think.