pain is so unbearable tonite..... i thought i could just dismiss it today and try to focus on anything...plugging alone going for a walk keeping busy on the computer....but it's too immense now...and i'm taking way over the amount of pain killers than i want to be...so now i'm screwd io can't drink so i can't drink myself into a coma and i can't take any sleeping pills or ativan, cause i'm maxed out on my cns deppresants for the moment. sometimes i hate being so responsible with my meds and just take whatever and hope that i wake up in the morning. i'm ready to call my doctor and freak out! i just need to quit thinking these negative thoughts but everyonce in awhile the pain gets to me...the amount of time i have been in pain...how i don't complain about it to fam or friends anymore because they are tired of hearing it..and all i can do it write it down here and hopefully i don't know!
i feel like i am so busy helping everyone else and making them feel better (my profession) and there is nothing left for me, i can't feel better, i want what i give to my clients! but everyone is always too busy, i can understand i guess.
sorry if im going on i just want people to listen to me i don't need any comments i just want to write it down and feel like people are listening.