We're going to feel this our whole life...how can that be reconciled?...life is a cruel joke...a prison sentence.I won't feel this in a bit...I am good at that....yet it's there....crawling up from the pits of my core and lingering far behind my face.It is't going anywhere is it?I guess the best I can do is put a mask over it and try to exist in the mask.But the mask is sooo thin....just a veil....if I only felt my own shi' it'd be cool but i feel everything around me...other people...I feel their stuff..I feel all the color around me the wildlife...the planet...music...poetry...whatever...it is sooo overwhelming....we really do struggle to stay...just don't want to impact our son...he is so terribly wonderfully magnificent....it is for him we stay.....if u pray...just please send one up for me....I need to be sewn back together...for reals.....(Not gunna let me erase thhis...I wan to but I wont.I dont want pity...hate pity...just a prayer or a warm thought sent up to the heavens...even silently)TY Wolf....P.S I don't hate you mommy ,please help russ from where you are mom ...my hands are tied..I cant help him...M Cmas