Exactly so, Perna....I really appreciate your post.

Sometimes I wish he were "some guy on the street"! LOL, LOL

It shouldn't impact what I think of him...

That nasty, prickly should...

His office is at his house--separate, but connected. I've seen his ex-wife, we've spoken several times, chatted about shoes, made a couple of jokes....her car was almost always there...I would see her through a window at her computer...there were pictures of her and their family on his mantle....all gone now. And she took the cat that used to come in and wander around and sit with us sometimes.

It's good to think of this as a step I can take in therapy: using what I have learned, practice it on this, on my own.