My wife and I have had a rocky relationship over the past 18 years. I had been hospitalised and being seen by a few different mental health pros(neuropsych, pschyitrist, and psychologist) and non had suggested BPD. However there is so much I failed to tell them. I didn't open up until I saw my current psychologist. There are still things I have not told him. My wife, like you, wanted to know what was wrong with me. she did a lot of reading online and believes that BPD fit me to the T. When she suggested to me that I might be BPD I told her she didn't know what she was talking about and got mad at her for suggesting that I was crazy. That is why I held so much back though. I am so scared of what the doctors might say. It took a while for me to come around to believing that it could be me. I still have my doubts and until I go back and see my Pdoc I wont know for sure. Even if you do tell him what you think until he is ready to accept the the truth he probably wont believe you either. I do like BPD mess's suggestion to send a card is a good idea. Let him know your still there for him while giving him space to sort out his feelings.