Thanks so much for the hugs. Though it saddens me to think that you are struggling too, it helps to know I am not alone. Sadly, I have wanted to explode and say you should enjoy me while you have me as I might have cancer so nothing is guaranteed, but I have kept myself in check. I just really find myself longing for a break, a chance to rest deep inside. Hubby and I said we would not get ourselves anything this year since money is tight yet I feel I should...idk...part of me just wants to empty my house and have nothing tying me down.