It feels like nothing is real. Like all of it is part of a play. Or a tv show. It's all acting.

Have you pretended to be happy for others for so long that it's hard to tell when your laugh is real and when its faked? Have you ever had suicidal thoughts while still being able to appear normal?

Anyone I talk to seems to think I have schizophrenia. I'm paranoid about the people who are out to kill me. Anyone and everyone could be a spy for Them. And I see and hear things that nobody else sees or hears. I have 2 others inside my head. They talk to me, and to eachother.

But it's all real.
Or none of it is real.

So I googled the symptoms after by best friend irl said it. And I suppose I can identify with most of the "symptoms".

But is it schizophrenia? Or is schizophrenia a tag? To classify those of us who are different? Make it easier for Them to target us? We have the ability, to touch things that others can't, so we're persecuted for it. It's modern-day Salem Witch Trials. "I can't see/hear.feel it, so you have a disease... It's not us, it's you."

I can't seem to tell. Is what I'm thinking real? Or is none of it? Are all of my thoughts lies? Every single one? Hell, am I real? Or just some government guinnea pig...

Thanks for listening. I doubt I made any sense at all. I just... needed to say it, I think.
I don't know. Perhaps someone is going through the same thing and can help. Or know that they aren't alone.

Probably I just need to go to bed.
Sweet dreams everyone...