thanks, you guys. he went by ambulance last night to the emergency room and had to get surgery that was previously scheduled for this morning. i was probably just thinking about that last night, and what would happen if he didnt make it through and how id feel, what id reminise on... makes me sound crazy, eh? heh.

thank you for all your kinds words and the sharing of your stories. i completely understand that this isn't nearly as bad as what people who are truly abused go through, i hope you all don't think im trying to compare or anything. good luck to all of you now and in the future.