I think a lot of what we see in other people, what bothers us about them, is coming from us and our needs and fears rather than strictly them. Think about people you just shake your head about and walk away from or dismiss; why don't we do that with everyone who doesn't "fit" us? Other people can't suck our energy if we don't allow it.

Generally, we care, for one reason or another, about people whom we allow to upset us. Think of here, the posts you answer or don't answer. The actual people aren't here, we don't know them, so why do we respond to some and not others? Because what they say or how they say it, how they express themselves, touches us and our issues.

We can't know what someone else gets from any of their behavior as we perceive it unless we ask them, they could perceive it completely differently and it could be completely different, it could be our perceptions that need correcting based on what we hear from the actor in person.