but right now it is taking every ounce of energy to do what I absolutely need to in order to survive.

I recognize that I am in one hell of a blue funk, also known as a dark dark state of depression. Putting my finger on exactly why is nearly impossible since there are any number of reaons, many of which i am trying to deal with.

I come up with things that i want to do and it sounds so good at the time. I can even sound pretty damn convincing when I talk about doing them. However, when it comes to actually doing them, I freeze, sometimes just freak out. The idea of doing anything is very uncomfortable. My happy place is in the kitchen but going in there to start cooking doesn't feel very happy.

Anyone have any wonderful grounding ideas just to help me stay focused and not lose msyelf somewhere a long the line? Between a killer depression and occasional bouts of depresonalization, the world has become a very dark and confusing place.

Writing has helped some but not near enough. Not to be a whiney little kid, but I want it all fixed NOW!!! though I am well aware that working through stuff takes time and sometims it gets worse before it gets better. I know this. I prepared for it. But it doesn't mean I have to like it

*stomps foot and pouts*