I did not know what to call this. I just wanted to rant. We are the sole caretaker of the Mother. She was more of an absent by stander then a helper in our story. Yet we try harder than humanly possible at times to make her love us. Well now she needs us. That feels good but exhausted we all are. We are her eyes, ears, legs, and hands. We need to be around constantly. We have few or no outside friends. We can barely get to therapy but we are struggling to do so. We have a psychiatrist, but recently lost our therapist. She moved and only sees clients at her house over an hour away. Plus her only available time slot is 9AM. We cannot get the mother up, medicated, dressed, ready for the day, in time to drive over an hour, for a 45 minute appointment. We are fairly new to driving and just find the entire situation beyond overwhelming. So we stopped seeing our therapist in January 2010.
We still see the psychiatrist thank heavens.
We just recognized that we have separation anxiety. The mother is 88 and we depend on her income to survive. When we were small she frequently would walk off and leave us...abandon us. Now we are freaking out that she is going to leave us again...pass away. We know it is coming. We just have no friends or family to help us. In fact we are scared of a lot of family. So we fret quietly and mumble something to our psych. doctor.
Think something is wrong that we would spend all our money to get a kindle for the mother. There is that forever longing to make her happy at all cost. It always fails to get the desired result...her love. Yet we cannot stop.
Love us, trust us, believe in us.
UGH!
This is the wrong place for this. Oh I had better stop now. Just scared and ...I guess we just wanted to talk,