I am so sorry you are struggling with these feelings.Can you say why you feel jealous and insecure hun?...Where did those feelings arise from.You sound as tho' you genuinely love her...and that your self esteem is low.There must be a place where that originated?Something hurt you.I will look for your reply ...I want you to be reassured that the dynamics of your issues can be dealt with once you gain insight ok?...Don't give up.I am sure you and she can heal.~WO.olf~P.S tons and tons of awesum ppl here willing to assist you.Be hopeful