Hello Everyone.

I just feel so depressed. I have a mother who worries 24/7 and is a very negative person. She's very nice when she's caring for me in the sense that she'll do things for me but like yesterday, I just asked her "i'm having trouble finding where the food is" and she just BLEW UP and started shouting at me.

Today, Its christmas eve. I'm not christian but I do like to go out on christmas and enjoy the night. I'm in India, in a big city, which is sort of unsafe for women at night. I was invited out. I really wanted to go, tried everything I could to make it happen.

First I asked my sister to drop me at the venue which would take her 40 minutes to drive to and back. She has her own plans (which I wasn't invited to). She went with her husband. I also felt like doing something, I never go anywhere since I've moved here. I have absolutely no life. The whole day I just sit at home and watch my parents fight, its so draining on me.

I'm 27, I seriously see no hopes for the future. Everytime I try to get close to someone (as a friend) something happens or something they do that pulls me back.

Today I had an invite for the christmas eve party and I really wanted to go because I really like the band thats playing, I made sure to be as safe as I could, being a woman in this somewhat unsafe city.

The only thing that was bothering me was that the person I was coming back with, I have just recently met him, we were gonna cab it. Its him and his female friend.

I did some research on facebook and he looked pretty decent, he's from US as well and I met him through some other friends.

I'm just really hurt because I feel like my mom's negativity and worriness gets to me and I start thinking like that, infact I've thought like that all my life, constantly trying to protect myself from EVERYTHING. I'm not saying she's wrong in this particular situation, maybe she's a little right, but I also need to live my life... She's always worrying about the smallest things.... She's right in worrying about safety but I'm sick of just closing up my life so they feel comfortable. I don't meet anyone because I don't have a car to go around, and in the evening the city gets unsafe. Even if I meet someone and tell her about it, she'll put some sort of doubt in my mind like "omg don't know who he/she is where she's from, wat if.. this happens, etc..".

My sister, who I'm not close to at all and who will always say NO to anything/everything I ask of her no matter what. She's going out but won't take me. She also will refuse to drop me because its me and she doesnt want to do anything for me, She doesn't get any gifts out of me probably thats why.

I just want to DIE. really. I'm sick of living this way. I feel so alone. I don't see anything bright happening for me. I'm sick of being told "hang in there.." I'm done of hanging in there. I'm so unhappy. I don't meet anyone, NO ONE. and then my mom constantly tells me "oh wow, look he's married now. she's married now.. you need to be married. " BUT HOW???? I AM NOT ALLOWED TO MEET ANYONE HOW THE HELL DO I GET MARRIED TO SOMEONE. I CANNOT EVEN GET CLOSE TO ANYONE. I have ZERO CLOSE FRIENDS!

Please Help.