I don't know why I am here I have really never had this feeling of nothingness in my life before. I guess I am here because I need someone to talk to before I end up doing something stupid.

Right now life is at an all time low. I feel as there is no one here for me in this world that can help me through these thoughts and issues that have been plaguing me for the past couple of months.

Let me start from the begining. A couple of months ago I was in a relationship with someone for almost six years. Things were pretty good throught those years until the middle part of this year. I was working 12 hr shifts at work and going to college full time as well. This was a very stressful period in my life, trying to balance work and school and I started getting overwhelmed and stressed out. Problems at home started to areise as well. She didn't have a job, she wouldn't clean, she wouldn't dicipline her kids. It basically all fell on me which made a stressful situation even more stressful. I told her that she needed to make some changes in her life, go get some counciling to help her deal with the issues that were going on in her life s that we could move forward in our relationnship. She didn't and our relationship got progressively worse. It came to the point where I had to loeave even though I really didn't want to but I did. After I left she got the help she needed, she made the changes that she needed to make and now is a totally different person.
I wanted us to try and work on getting back together and so we did. We were taking things slow and I believe that we wre falling for each other again. But here comes the bump in the road. She met someone else. And since then which has been just two weeks hadn't talked very much.
Then Monday of this week she calls me and we talk she tells me how much she misses me and how she thinks about me constantly. I tell her the same because this is how I feel as well. Then she tells me that this song called "End of the road" by boys to men and in this song there is a specific part that says "Will you love me again like you loved me before this time I want you to love me much more" And there's another part that says "We belong together and you know that I am right". Why would she have me listen to this if she has not intention of getting back together with me. I just don't understand and cannot talk to her about it because she is with this other guy. What do I do???

SInce that day I have felt an overwhelming sadness and hopelessness that I can not get rid of no matter what I do. I have been contemplating suicide as this seems to be the only way that I can get rid of the void that has been left.

I have tried to talk with my friends about it but they really don't care or act like they do not care even though I express the sadness that I am feeling the never offer any advice or input into the situation. As far as my family goes they do not discuss things like that. My mother has never told me as far as I can remember that she has ever loved me or really never has shown any emotion towards me as well.

I have no job and cannot find one, though I search and search everyday and apply as well. This leads to my depression as too as there is too much time on my hands to constantly think about things. I exercise regularly and that only seems to help until I am finished. I just feel like ending it all, I really believe that this world would be better off without me and I feel like I have no purpose or meaning in this life anymore. These upcoming holidays are just making the situation worse. I cannot sleep , I cannot eat. I am at my wits end. Somebody please help me.