Don't want to be forced to socialize with family this Christmas. Don't want to go to the Christmas eve party, force a smile and pretend I'm totally okay with it, that there's no where else I'd rather be. I just want to stay home on the computer and pretend like it's any ordinary day.

Part of it's depression, part of it's religion. I was raised Christian, now I'm not. I don't know if I can stand everyone's religious talk when I just want to tell them this isn't me. I don't feel part of my family anymore. Maybe depression is to blame.

I just feel totally withdrawn, like I don't care whatsoever. I'm just not in the mood for it all... I want Christmas to go away.