Ballet_girl, I think how you work through things is probably an individual affair, depending on your trauma and your own psyche and how you think and work with yourself. I would see if you could get apart from yourself some, when you're upset and "observe" what you think and do, how you feel, how soon bad feelings pass, etc.

Knowing our own patterns (and there are patterns) and how things ebb and flow (like weather, tides, other natural things) can help us feel more comfortable that things can be worked out.

Do you have any older family members you can write to, see if they have any memories of the time you experienced the trauma or what you were like then? If you can get an aunt or grandparent, sibling, cousin, friend, someone else remembering what they remember, it can help make the time feel less lonely and remind you you weren't living in a vacuum. Sometimes too, they have little tidbits of information that might help you remember more yourself.