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Bless your heart --- It sounds like your home life is utter chaos. I don't blame you for not wanting to stay there alot of the time.
In the evenings, of course you're going to want to be safe, but you're also going to have to take some chances. Take a cab to wherever you're going if your sister won't take you. Hopefully, the cab is safe enough. When it's time to go home, either get a ride from a friend at the same function or call another cab. But the only way you're going to meet anyone is by putting yourself "out there."
You're of adult age -- your mother can no longer control what you do. Maybe she says if you "live in our house, you abide by our rules." If that's what she does, you're going to have to think about moving out. It might be difficult living on your own, but if you truly want freedom, you might have to.
Mothers will ALWAYS WORRY no matter how old you are. My daughter is 35 and I still worry about her -- and i always will. But I don't nag at her and I don't tell her what she can or can't do. I assume that she is going to use good sense, and keep herself safe, along with her 15yr old daughter. If I kept badgering her with rules, etc., I'd be driving her away. I don't want to do that. That's what your mother is doing.
You also are depressed, dearheart. You need to see a doctor -- it sounds like you may need an antidepressant. Perhaps you need it just temporarily - but it would help. Please see your doctor. Best of luck to you and please take care. Hugs, Lee
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