Yeah, I have... I thought that I was not feeling down because of my dad, yet because of other things... I mean I have accepted that he is dead and that it was his time to go, but I guess you know even if you have excepted it you are always going to miss the person who died... I realized I do... I mean it just shows: My dad kept the house clean and now that hes not here it is a mess, he paid the bills and now that hes gone the bills never get paid on time, he was there when i got home from school but my mom is only sometimes home when i get home, he took me places but my mom is often too busy to, etc. It's not that I feel like I miss him, it is just that things in the long run are being made problems of mine b/c he is not around... I was hit pretty hard yesterday in therapy with some info. about my dad and my T didn't even ever askhow I was feeling (no, you dont have to ask... I just expected her to since the session are about me and my feelings). So anyways, yesterday I just felt pretty overwhelmed. My dad and I share a song called Butterfly Kisses and I hadnt listened to it for like a year... last night I came home and listened to it and started to have tears pour out before the words even started... since yesterday it is all i have been thinking about and though I have laughed and joked around, I have been thinking about him constantly. I think I also figured out why I might be dreading tis Christmas... usually I enjoy Christmas, bu this year I am just not ready... I found out my dad always hated the Winter Holidays because that is around the time that his dad had his first heart attack, and then soon after the second one that killed him. So I guess now that I heard that yesterda it just made me less in the spirit... I mean I dont want to make a big hoopyda out of it now... I just want to celebrate the birth of Christ. So, yeah, I have been hiding the fact that I miss my dad from not only the world, but myself. : (

Through each others weaknesses we find comfort.