I hear you saying you feel shocked and it sounds like you feel betrayed since your manager told you one thing and is doing another. Christmas Eve is a horrible time to get this news.

First, when you say you hurt yourself with a screwdriver, is it something that you need to have checked out by a doctor? Along those same lines, would it be beneficial for you to check yourself into a hospital to deal with your suicidal thoughts at the moment? Is there a crisis line in your area you can talk to? I'm worried about you.

I've been very down the last couple of days. Still trying to make it through the holidays. Talked to the dog (god spelled backwards) and asked for a Christmas miracle. I'm not a believer. Pray mostly out of desperation. Prayers have never been answered in the past. I'm adding you to my prayers and hoping you receive a Christmas miracle.