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This seemed like the best place to stick this. If it doesn't belong here, feel free to move it to a more appropriate location
Things are bad. Not just bad but super bad. I can't remember being this bad for a hell of a long time. I do have a therapist and things seem to be moving somewhat but I am wondering if something needs to change. Changing therapists is definitely not an option. I'm thinking more along the lines of what should be done with her in comparison with what is being done. She pretty much lets me lead each session. We may chat and if I say something she may run with it. Pretty much, we stick where I go and leave it at that. However, things are not changing fast enough. I know nothing happens overnight but I wonder if I am unconsciously staying away from major things (though sometimes it is very conscious) which really need to be addressed. Sure the day to day stuff and little stuff is important but **** goes a hell of a lot deeper than the surface. Perhaps I need to be challenged more. Maybe I need to be forced into going somewhere that I may not really be comfortable going. I know that is a dangerous road to take because it can have some serious consequences but maybe I need to take more risks.
I guess the problem with all of that is I have no idea how to get that. I know the simple answer is "Ask for what you need" but that is soooo not very simple. I am not very good at asking for what I want or need and definitely don't know how to say "Hey challenge me and run the risk of making me feel even worse than I already do". I’m not sure how to put that kind of thing out there. I am uncertain how to take the risk and actually ask for something. My history has taught me that asking for anything is generally met with some serious negative consequences which have left me a little gun shy when asking for anything.
It’s a risk whether I ask or don’t ask. The risk is just different.
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I have a dream that one day the chicken can cross the road without having his motives questioned
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about it?
I would rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not. ~Kurt Cobain~
Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are. ~Kurt Cobain~
Insanity is knowing that what you're doing is completely idiotic, but still, somehow, you just can't stop it. ~Elizabeth Wurtzel~
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