so my p-doc does this too...there is so much i want to share but i don't know where to start. and i have all these ideas before i go in. but once i'm there i start thinking well this is trivial i don'tt need to bother her with this and it goes from there. I need to start writing down what i want to talk about and reciting it to her (i also know she tends to get sidetracked to, and forgets)

But then when she hits a subject i reject her sometimes and then i go away hating her that she hit on something close and now she knows how i feel and i want to protect that, so hating her is my coping mechanism.

also when i want to goover something i am very long winded because i feel finally someone who wants to hear me, and we can't finish everything in a session thatn i have to wait for two weeks. you know what it's like hanging a subject by a thread half finished for two weeks? i'd rather just keep my mouth shut! but i can't afford her everyweek rigght now ahemm (looks around) 250$ a session! but yes it is worth finding someone i can trust even though i don't tell her somethings if i didn't trust her i wouldn't open my mouth at all!

there are days i want her to lead, and i think i'm going to tell her that next time i see her . be like "pry something out of me i don't know what it is but lead a topic from all our sessions we have been together you sstart on one that you think would help me" and see where that takes things