I have a long history with depression among other things. I'm currently in therapy and a few weeks ago my therapist said she's been thinking I could possibly be bipolar 2. While it's something I have thought about, I keep going back to no I really don't think I am.

I have a few family members who are bipolar, and two of my siblings are.

Anyway, it seems that my "mania" is more severe anxiety and irritability. I also have shopping issues which I do when I'm in my up moods. Then I crash. Sometimes I can go days with bad anxiety and being highly irritable and some days I can switch back and forth in the same day.

I'm currently on Celexa and am on the highest dose, I want to go off my meds again. I hate being on them and I hate that I'm taking something that doesn't seem to make any difference.

I guess I'm just confused, frustrated and have reached my breaking point. I'm kind of scared to bring some of my feelings up to my therapist because she has thought about having me hospitalized and I refuse. I'm scared if I tell her how low I'm feeling again that she will force it. She told me recently that during my first session with her she thought I needed to be hospitalized but decided to wait it out and she thinks I've improved, which I have from where I was... I've now written a novel and I'm sure this makes zero sense.

I want to know how others cycle and what they had to go through to find a diagnosis.