Today I am feeling a little better than yesterday. I am still here so I guess that must count for something right. Thank you Rohag for the sources in your post. I am trying to deal with my issues as best I can but at least if I start feeling worse I know where I can get some special help. I think the main thig was I was able to sleep for 2hrs last night and that was only from drinking but at least I got a little rest. It had been days since I actually dozed off and I think that little bit of rest helped even though I should't have been drinking to rest in the first place.

I think that being alone and trying to cope with issues is a very hard thing for one to do by theirselves. I am truely glad that I stumbled across this site as I realize that I am not alone in the way that I feel even thought everyone's stories are different I guess the feeling is all the same.