I don't really expect anyone to respond to this...it's more of a rant, really. I've been so stressed out lately because I have dry eye syndrome. This is a constant thing...I just have more tense moments dealing with it than at other times.

I've been depressed and stressed lately as it is, and the dry eye just adds to it. The gunk in my eyes makes me sleepy, and I feel drowsy throughout much of the day, regardless of whether or not I've had enough sleep.

The irritation is constant. I always feel like there's something in my eyes. I get out the gunk when I can, but sometimes, I think it's still in the glands or whatever, and although I can feel it, I can't get it out. My eyes get further irritated from the rubbing and stretching of my skin around my eyes, and the digging. They itch and burn. I try not to touch my eyes except when I'm about to wash them, because I feel like the stuff from my eyes is dirty (I have OCD). Plus dirt gets in them easily, sticks to my eyes easily.

I hate when I spend a long time rubbing stuff out of them, wash my hands, and end up feeling something shift in my eye, telling me there's more gunk or debris there. It's so frustrating.

My eyes feel wet a lot of the time, or get crusty. When I try to sleep, besides feeling like there's something in them, they often water for a long time, and I can't sleep when that's happening. Sometimes I break down and cry. But crying irritates them, too, causing the gunk to gather in my eyelids (top and bottom, and the corners of my eyes), so it's like I'm not even allowed to cry. And the crying makes it difficult to breathe, which increases my anxiety, and that makes my panic disorder act up.

There's hardly ever any relief. I've tried eye drops, and some are better than others, but they don't help much, and can make the problem worse in the long run. Plus, they're expensive, and I was mostly only using them to help me sleep when I did use them.

I've seen eye doctors, who just push the eye drops on me. Restasis was never mentioned, but it scares me, anyway, because it can burn the eyes (which suggests damage to me) and have other side effects. I'm terrified of the idea of going blind, so I'm real scared to try anything where my eyes are concerned, but I'm so sick of this. There's no cure for it, and I'm just so frustrated by it.