This is complicated and can create some seriously confusing feelings.

I went through something similar a few years ago and to this day I am not even sure if I have actually dealt with it completely. The minute I heard, I was shocked. Took a few hours to sink in. After that I was so drunk I remember nothing that happened that evening or even the next day. After that i felt nothing. I didn't care one way or the other. However, now I am at a loss as to what I feel. Some days I feel nothing and other days I feel as though there is something that needs to be dealt with.

What you need to remember is that whatever you feel is perfectly acceptable. I used to tell myself exactly how I would feel if and when it happened but when it did, I was lost. Nothing seemed quite real for a while. We all handle things differently so there is no telling what is right and wrong.

If your T has suggested you journal I would agree with her. It's not always easy though. And sometimes you may not have anything to write about but then something will come up. Go with it. Perhaps it will be really helpful