((((((( Val))))))))))))
I know how badly you feel and how songs that you shared can hurt greatly, you remember I told you my dad died last November, it still hurts, and this time of year I can't escape (while out of the house) The Christmas Song, by Nat Cole (Chesnuts roasting on an open fire), dad use to sing that during this time of year around the house now when I hear it, I start to cry, another one is "Unforgetable", that does that to me. "Hiding it from yourself", the realization just hitting now is nothing odd, for some people the inner denial of letting go of someone can push you into that, and then there are some people accept and move on sooner than others.
I was told there is no "dead line" when one stops grieving.
And I have also been told there is "no specific" way to grieve.
Take care

In giving advice seek to help, not please your friend
SOLON