Hi Arli,

I'm a very shy person, and I have a lot of trouble talking in therapy. It has gotten better as I've worked with my counselor, but sometimes it is still hard. Initially I often brought in something I had written, to at least get started, and that would really help me. He is okay with reading the things I have written. I would write about the things which are most troubling me, and which I wish we could discuss in the session. Sometimes if I get "stuck" during the session, I will pull out my pad of paper and start writing again. I find that, at least for me, if I start writing when I am having trouble talking, and give my T the pages, it often helps me get started talking again. But that might just be me. My T has been very patient about all of this, and I'm very grateful to him. It has gotten better as we worked together. I don't need to write as much as before, and often I can start talking even without bringing something written with me now. But sometimes I do bring a written page even now, and that's okay too.

I think a lot of people bring a journal to counseling, or a written page, or even a list of reminders that they've written to themselves. I think whatever you can do to help yourself make good use of the time is healthy. You can talk with your counselor about this too. I've talked with my counselor about it, and how hard it is to talk. It has been really helpful for me to talk with him about it. Your counselor might have additional ideas to help make your sessions feel more safe, so that it feels safer to work to together (if that's an issue for you), or your T might have other ideas to help you make better use of the time. Sometimes my T assigns me "homework" to do inbetween sessions, and that can be a good starting point when it's hard to begin work too. So it might be worth talking with your T about all of this too.

Take care,
ErinBear