Whoa...so I don't know why I'm here. I guess it's because I'm having realling bad urges to harm myself for absolutely no freaking reason. It annoys me when I get like that. Then I call my T hoping that she can make it go away but that's not her job. Her job is to help me to make it go away. It's just so annoying. And I try to stop...many many times but it's just so freaking hard to fight the urges which makes me wanna cut myself more. It's really just this horrible cycle. I don't know why but I also feel like I am not a "true" self-harmer, if that makes sense. I started when I was in ninth grade (about 14 or 15). I am now 21. But for some reason I feel that I am a fake, like I don't cut myself as deep as I should or as much as I should. Or that I don't feel like all the other self-harmers do. This is totally bogus, I know, considering I have cut so deep you can see fat. But I don't know...just rambling aimlessly, I guess.