fighting internally with what my heart knows to be true and what my mind knows to be true....

have you ever felt like you knew the information, the details, the solutions to certain issues, they just could never resonate in your heart?

you know, you have the wisdom a lot of the time, you just can't figure out how to use it and put it into practice.

anywho, haven't had much of a chance to respond to other peoples posts or update.

And I'm kind of struggling with depression some days so I don't like to respond to things on PC, cuz I don't want to be all sad...I want to make people hopeful if I respond.

my last session wasn't bad but, it wasn't great either.
I still sense resentment towards me from her.

And she really didn't give me much peace about moving to school.
she said to schedule appointments "as needed"... as a way of ending therapy. she didn't want to make it official or terminate quite yet cuz I am moving. going to school.

and one of my family members died two days ago.
I feel kinda lousy but, happy all the same.

I just want to learn more and more how to "forgive myself"
as people we can work so very hard to get people to understand us
but, at the end of the day, I guess the best source to freedom is not only forgiving them but, forgiving ourselves for what we did and did not know to do.

I don't ever mean to hurt people. I don't do it intentionally.
but, I'm human. trying to be the best I can be. January 6th I move out of my parents house and everything changes. Not even allowed to email my T anymore. sounds wierd, think she'd let me cus of the transition but, I think I just overdid it on emailing. I truly feel like I'm on my own. Just me and God.

good luck to those on pc. sorry i've been super busy lately.