Tiberius,
I have read your posts and one thing that is clear to me is that you are really struggling with your t relationship right now. And oh how I can relate to that. A part of me knows exactly what you are saying and I see your pain and frustrations. The other part of me also wants to jump in and defend my fellow PCers who have formed a very strong bond with their ts and are fairly stable in their t relationships right now. I know it only takes one thread to trigger doubts and fears in each of our own delicate t situations.

What I can tell you for sure. And the reason I can tell you is that I have been there, and still go there, is that you do not want to try to read on this transferance yourself and navigate solo on this situation. The writings will trigger you and make you angry. It will lead to a larger rift in your therapy than you feel now.

One way to ease into this would be to ask your t if they can recommend any material for you to read regarding transferance. This will definately give your t the opening that they need to lead you through the conversation that needs to happen. You don't have to spill all of the beans if you know what I mean. You could simply admit to feeling unsettled about the t relationship and you could also say that you read other peoples struggles on PC and you are just having thoughts about the psychotherapy proccess in general.

This is what I have done with my t and it has NOT been easy by any means. I do not have the magical answers for you. I can tell you that I understand your pain and I hope you can find a way to talk to t about it and get the conversation going to see where it can take you. Good Luck.