Working through this is part of therapy. I think you might be wanting a less painful shortcut, which is understandable, but another kind of avoidance. On the other hand, I like to know more about things, so ...

http://psychcentral.com/lib/2007/tra...psychotherapy/

http://bpd.about.com/od/treatments/a/transference.htm

http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_d...pe=doc&id=8253

http://apt.rcpsych.org/cgi/content/full/6/1/57

http://www.toddlertime.com/mh/terms/...sference-2.htm

http://www.borderlinedisorders.com/t...chotherapy.php