The biggest relief I had in dealing with these types of feelings was when after 6yrs found the courage to tell T I loved her...it was so scary up till that point....Ts eyes and whole body language when I told her really helped ...cant et that out of a book..therapy is about responses to our feelings...changing how we feel about ourselves when we have such feelings especially if our feelings had been shamed growing up.....afraid that if I let my guard down T would somehow change into my past...she didn't she took my ove foe her and didn't try to deny it or change it...